By now, you know that the Wave of Light is a tradition for our family to remember Louie and other little ones who are no longer with us. We invite you to light a candle (or send "light" thoughts/prayers) from 7pm-8pm in your local time zone. October 15 is infant & pregnancy loss remembrance day and observed through the international wave of ligh
These annual milestones remind me how much I still crave for Louie to "have space" in the world where he barely existed. While I'm so thankful that my heart is full with our family on earth, I still yearn to have my full family here.
I recently went to my 20th high school reunion over the weekend. There were a few classmates that came up to me to share how they've been following our story through the years and have kept us in their thoughts and prayers. I've always been touched how far kindness and love can travel. It springs up in places, even when we are not completely aware of it. It reminded me in a different way that my sweet son is getting his space through all the love, prayers, thoughts that have covered our family from near and far.
One of the quotes that has stayed near me through this journey is from The Fault is in our Stars (a teeny bopper book that I unashamedly like). One of the main characters who suffers from cancer says that "Grief doesn't change you...it reveals you".
Louie has revealed so much about a mother's love and strength to me. Being a mother to a child who is no longer here is much more complex and heartbreaking, but I like that it changes over time. Since I cannot make new memories, I can at least continue to learn and grow from our mother-son bond and learn to love others better.
So tomorrow I will take that expanded heart and honor my little love. I will send my biggest, warmest, brightest wishes to all the invisible babies and their families on this earth. I hope that you will remember him too.
