What do you do all day?

Before when I was working, I would sometimes daydream about what life would be like without a full time job.  After all, I was probably spending 50-70 hours there for the last decade.  Would it feel like a forever vacation?  Would I lose weight and be super fit?  Would I be exactly who I was meant to be with all this extra time?  Would I be the best version of myself? 

It’s been almost a year and the reality is lot more mundane.  Back in April, I wrote in my journal about “what I hope I will say” about my sabbatical year. And here are a few things I wrote: rest, be present, create core memories, exercise, learn something wildly impossible with a full time job.

So I started our Taiwan year with goals in the “Important, Not urgent” quadrant: my health and relationships. 

Stephen Covey’s Time Mgmt Matrix, which after some googling is said to come first from Eisenhower

The biggest shifts since I left working:

• Sleep
• Consuming content: books/TV/podcasts
• Exercise
• Household chores: soooo many household chores (Boy do I miss our nanny!)

And, of course I made a chart. :)

Even Apple is telling me I’m doing much better with sleep!  It was a very low bar, but getting healthier.

While I had hoped to get back to my pre-pregnancy Tori weight AND have my eczema in tip top shape, progress is slow. So I'll keep at it. There hasn't been a dramatic change to my life, but I will say that living more slowly -- hanging out with my parents as an adult, spending more time with the kids (higher highs and lower lows with this one) -- has truly been a gift. 

For those who are still dreaming of taking a gap year (or summer/month), I see you and hope you find a way to make it happen. 

Sports Day 運動會

Life in Taipei has moved into a predictable rhythm and thankfully the weather has really cooled off, so we can spend more time outdoors.  

Recently both schools had their sports day (運動會), which is common across the city.  It’s an official school day on Saturday where everyone participates in performances, games, and athletics.  What I enjoyed about it is that we were able to see the kids interact with their friends and meet some other parents. While there are some social activities here, there are far fewer than in the US. Sports day is an encouragement for the kids to develop habits in healthy eating, exercise, and sportsmanship. In general, I've found that a centralized system on health and wellness makes a lot of sense. The kids even get their flu shots, dental fluoride, and other check ups at school. Definitely feel like the US could learn some things that Taiwan has figured out.

Here are some photos of both sports days. 

Kuei Shan Sports Day (Lexi and Ellie)

Cheng Mei Sports Day (Tori)

Home of the Giant Pandas (and red pandas too!)

We recently came back from a short trip to Chengdu, China in the Sichuan province.  It is famous for being the home of giant pandas, Sichuan food (yes, even the non-spicy items felt spicy to me), and 变脸 Biàn Liǎn.

With all things nature, it can be quite unpredictable with animals.  We were lucky with good panda weather (raining and cool) and delighted to see a lot of activity at the Chengdu Research Base. 

Warren and I were reflecting that we both enjoy animal experiences and have had a chance to see such a wide range: gorillas in Uganda, elephants in Thailand, wombats in Tasmania, and safaris in Tanzania.  The pandas are right up there for uniqueness.  So even through the girls prefer stuffed animals over the real ones, we thought it was a wonderful visit. 

After seeing the pandas, the kids really enjoyed the 变脸 performance.  There was music, dance, and comedy.  

A few things I appreciate about being back in Taiwan are: 1) clean bathrooms wherever you go - for anyone with a recently potty-trained toddler, you will understand this!  2) lines 3) more gentle sales techniques.  I think living in China for a year would have been very difficult for me with culture shock. 

We've now finalized our excursion trips for the year.  W got started on the calendar Tetris so the kids do not miss school.  Lexi doesn't want to miss out on "perfect attendance".  Ellie requested scheduling our trips to miss school on Thursday's as that is her weekly Chinese test.  The sibling differentiation is real.  

• Warren: Bali & Komodo Island Indonesia for the Komodo dragons (Jan 2025)
• Mel: Kyoto, Japan for the cherry blossoms (Mar 2025)
• Lexi: Chengdu, China for the giant pandas (Oct 2024). She also voted for Komodo dragons. 
• Ellie: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam for the underground tunnels.  She also voted for Komodo dragons. (Jan 2025)
• Tori: Hong Kong for Disneyland (May 2025). She also voted for the mall. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm already jealous of my kids' international travel at such a young age.  My hope is that these experiences expand their worldview, but I also have a fear of entitlement.  As we grow as a family, I want to expose them to how big the world is and to grow in gratitude and generosity.  I definitely welcome ideas from folks who have thought about that juxtaposition of privilege and avoiding entitlement.  In the meantime, we're working on having grateful hearts for all that we're experiencing this year - the good and the hard. 

Wave of Light 2024

Dear friends and family, 

It’s that time of year again. The Wave of Light is a tradition for our family to remember Louie and other little ones who are no longer with us. October 15 is infant & pregnancy loss remembrance day and observed through the international wave of light. We invite you to light a candle tomorrow (or send "light" thoughts/prayers) from 7pm-8pm in your local time zone. 

This year I’m writing from the other side of the world in Taipei.  After moving here over the summer, we’ve recently celebrated our compressed season of birthdays (3 in 30 days!).  In lieu of birthday parties, each one of us got to design an entire day for our celebration. Lexi chose Din Tai Fung, DIY music boxes, gaming at the arcade, and finished off with Kura Sushi. I got to see the secret escape slide at the Grand Palace Hotel and picked a chocolate panda cake.  Ellie started with her favorite waffle spot, picked a movie (Wild Robot - highly recommend), visited a meerkat cafe, and ate at Kura Sushi (again). It’s been lovely getting to experience each kid’s individuality and interests emerge. The small details, the specific preferences, the fleeting favorites - I cherish (most of) those moments as our family here. 

And one day… maybe I’ll get to experience just one day designed by my son - a day that I got to remember instead of imagine. 

Until then, we will honor Louie with our light. I do like to imagine that wave of light dancing across the world connecting all of us who have loved and lost… and learned to love again.   

Sending you all love and peace.

Made in Taiwan

One unique aspect of Taiwan culture for kids (and adults) is the world of DIY crafts.  It's reminded me of my high school scrapbooking and young adult crafting days....something I completely forgot about once the kids came along.

We've done some clay modeling (overpriced)

Tufting (you use a tufting gun to make custom carpets)

Music box creation

And there's so much more (e.g. felting, slime-making, sewing, grid art).  Crafting has been one of the best indoor activities we’ve found to beat the heat. Ellie, in particular, has taken a strong interest in all things art-related which is fun to see. 

Now that the weather is starting to cool down…meaning mid-80s, I’m looking forward to exploring anything outside.  I’ve been feeling some “cabin fever” from staying mostly indoors since we moved here.  I definitely miss bike rides, hikes, and generally being outdoors.  

Our next family adventure year travel excursion is planned to visit Chengdu, China to see the home of giant pandas (Lexi's pick).  Stay tuned and hopefully we will have some cute photos to show.  🐼  

All the kids are in school!

It's a big milestone in the Chiang family.  All the kids are officially in school.  

Tori started Cheng Mei Montessori a few weeks ago and has adjusted very well.  The good news about the school is that they provide lunch every day.  The not so good news is that Tori only eats white rice and watermelon.  We're working on expanding her taste buds.  :) While navigating simple things like school forms in all Chinese is difficult, the kids are doing well. 

Lexi and Ellie started at Kuei Shan School (KSS), which is a bilingual Christian school. We're adjusting to life with a lot more homework.  Lexi is feeling the challenge of being behind in Chinese, but we know she'll learn a lot this year, even if it's a bit nerve-wracking. Ellie's curriculum is the same level for Chinese and English so far since they're all just starting to read.  Ellie and Lexi often meet up at recess and enjoy playing at the pond catching tadpoles and fish.  It's still so very hot here. 

A few things I appreciate about Taiwan schools: 

• Learning Chinese: We're here in Taiwan, so this was one of our primary goals.  While Lexi and Ellie go to a bilingual school, one of the questions we asked during info sessions is what language do the kids use on the playground. Tori's in a local Montessori school.  Everyone's Chinese is improving.  
• Uniforms: Had I known that the big girls had uniforms, I would have packed much less clothing.  Although confusingly, they have to wear their sports uniforms on different days.  It still reduces decision fatigue in the mornings
• After school classes: Tori has a STEM, dance, and nature class that comes to the school for additional activities.  You can just sign up and there's space for everyone. There's no waitlist or time everyone has to be on the computer to sign up. 
• Lunch steamers:  KSS has a steamer at school and the kids separate the part of your lunch that needs to stay heated for lunch. Great way to have a hot lunch every day. 

A few things that I miss about schools in SF: 

• Parent community:  It's difficult to meet parents at the school and definitely not a priority.  We had to ask around to find out if there's a Line Group (similar to WhatsApp) and was added randomly.  Tori's school doesn't have any means of knowing names of students or parents in her school.  I heard play dates aren't really a thing here. 
• School communication: Possible that it's due to being early in the school year, but we get school communications last minute. For example, you get your school supply list on Friday and have to bring everything on Monday.  We might get a notice at 6pm that they need to wear a different uniform to school for the next day. 
• Paper:  I might have said this before, but in general, I appreciate that everything in SF is digital (tuition payment, notices, forms, etc). There's just a lot more paper here. 

Warren and I are newly into our next season. We're now exploring places for lunch dates along volunteer/ consulting projects while the kids are at school.  

＇

Obon in Japan

August 9 - 17

Unbeknownst to us, we planned our vacation to Japan (Osaka, Tokyo) during Obon, a national holiday, and arguably the busiest time of the year with kids.  There were lots of crowds and lots of heat, but we all still had a great time.  

Kids enjoyed seeing animals at Nara Park, Osaka Aquarium, and a hedgehog cafe. 

Tokyo was quite full with Disney Sea, Sanrio Puroland, and this amazing art exhibit at teamLab Planets.  Also, we found a Louie’s pizza shop at Disney, so lovely to have his namesake in a “family” photo. 

The best part of our experience is the “kids meals” are udon, ramen, and karaage, so the girls ate well.  They also loved buying stuffies, buying art supplies that look like stuffies, and going on rides from their favorite stuffies… clearly a theme. 

The worst parts were that there’s no such thing as take-out in Tokyo (eating with toddlers at restaurants is no fun), the crowds, and a complex subway system for the illiterate. We feel like we only explored 5% of the cities, so looking forward to going again sometime this year.  

Getting geared up for Tori’s first day of preschool and the big girls starting at the end of the month. 

Family Gap Year

I realized we started with the what of Taiwan, but hadn't shared the why.  

So why are we doing a family gap year (aka #familyadventureyear)? 

Since I graduated or even while I was in college, I've always had an interest in living abroad.  There were a few opportunities that didn't shake out over the last 20+ years, but W&I added it as a 10-year goal in our "life plan" back in 2019.  As part of our small group, we work on annual life plans where we write down short-term and long-term goals: professional, spiritual, health, family, financial, legacy, etc.  As Warren and I entered simultaneous career transition moments, the idea of moving abroad came back. I had honestly forgotten that it was even in the goal sheet until after we made the decision.  Timing was a little bit before we were ready (Tori is on the young side), but decided to take the leap! 

Why Taiwan?

Originally, we were open to anywhere in the world without thinking through any of the logistics...anywhere from Malawi to Denmark. But in the end, we wanted to make sure the kids would have a "smooth-ish" experience and look forward to coming back to life in San Francisco.  Lexi and Ellie go to a Mandarin-immersion school, so we needed to maintain their language while we were abroad if we want them to return next year.  That eventually narrowed it down to a few options.  As we researched a few places (Taiwan, Singapore), it became clear that Taiwan was a good fit - Warren has family out here, the country had a visa process that made it possible to stay longer term, and the kids would get to attend a bi-lingual school here. 

What do we hope to do/learn/experience? 

We hope our family expands our worldview to understand more about life outside of SF.  It's a good challenge to shake up the routine and start fresh.  Ideally, Warren and I would like to find part-time work or volunteer opportunities to get to know the culture more deeply.  

One of the tips we heard from another family who lived abroad was involving the kids on decisions when we could.  So as part of our adventure year, each family member gets to "choose a place" to visit.  Lexi and Ellie continue to lobby for Disney Cruise, but we keep reminding them that it's not exactly a place to visit. :)  

• Warren said Taiwan was his pick.  
• I've always wanted to visit Kyoto and see the cherry blossoms.  
• Lexi wants to visit China (or go to Paris for the Olympics). 
• Ellie also she wants to see the cherry blossoms (and sometimes she throws in the curve ball of Australia).  
• We're not sure on Tori's pick yet, but excited for our adventure to come. 

Braving the rain ahead of Typhoon Gaemi

Starting out: Highlights and Lowlights

We‘ve been in Taipei for a little over 2 weeks now. We‘re settling in much faster than I expected.  Sharing a few family highlights and lowlights. 

Highlights: 

• Food - It goes without saying that the food is here is delicious, inexpensive, and everywhere.  We start most mornings trying out all the neighborhood eats.  W is a different kind of person here, who is constantly looking for the next best thing to try.  

Poi Poi joining for Ice cream Friday, which now Dessert Friday.  (It's really like dessert every day!)

• Shopping - This is really Lexi‘s highlight since none of the rest of us enjoy the shopping, but  since it’s so hot, the malls here are a respite for the heat.  Ellie loves the plethora of Summiko Gurashi characters everywhere.  Her favorite is Cinnamonroll. 
• MRT - Tori loves taking the MRT and swiping the card. Our place is only a few mins from the MRT and public transportation is awesome here.  I don't miss having a car, but I do miss having a bike.

Tori loving the MRT

• Swimming - when it's hot outside, swimming is delightful.  We go every other day.  For anyone who wants to visit us, this apartment complex has a pool!  
• Friends & Family - meeting up with friends local and those visiting have helped us with settling in and welcoming us to our new city.  My mom (Poi Poi) joined the adventure to Taiwan and has been getting to spend time with the girls almost every day.  

Hanging with the Lau's at the Night Market

Deb & Patrick sharing all their lessons learned after 6 years in Taipei 

Lowlights:

1. It’s hot - as expected, it’s very hot.  This means taking note of when you leave the home and walking distances. It also means a family with eczema gets flared up, itchy, and stingy. 
2. Bugs - related to eczema/skin, we are not accustomed to bug bites in SF.  Lots and lots of bites.  
3. Paper - there’s way less digital workflows here than I expected and things require cash and paper to process.  It will take us 4 visits to the National Immigration Center to complete everything for various reasons. 
4. Starting over makes you slower - Trying to figure out how to do life here makes you feel inefficient and out of place. For example, we miss Amazon Prime…haha.  A few friends are teaching us the local alternatives. 

Overall, our adventure year is starting out with a good amount of discomfort to stretch us into something new and also plenty of things that have been easier than expected.   

#FamilyAdventureYear

Dusting off our blogging skills. More pictures. Less time to write. Excited to peregrinate as a family although it’s decidedly much more work. 

Arrival in Taipei on July 4. 

12 hour flight: Lexi watched Barbie and Shrek 2. Ellie watched Happy Feet and Princess and the Frog. Tori watched Shrek and Trolls. W watched Interstellar, Kingsmen, and Almost Famous. Mel watched 10 mins of Oppenheimer before being forced to watch w/ Tortor. 

Waking up at 3:00 AM and headed to 7-Eleven

 

Love Undiminished by Adversity

Dear Louie,

10 years... I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since you’ve been gone. As I’ve been thinking about this milestone, it led me to reflect about the early days after your death. During that first year, I got a Celtic motherhood knot memorial tattoo for you. And I still appreciate its permanence. After getting that tattoo for you, I went back a few months later and got one for me. I chose a dogwood mandala because the meaning of this flower/tree is “love undiminished by adversity”. 

When I chose the dogwood at the time, it was more a hope in the future versus what I expected. It was a choice and not a feeling. It was a promise to try, not confidence that it would be true. And the adversity to come was unknown at the time and there was indeed more: I would have an early miscarriage after your death, your grandmother would pass away too soon from cancer, and there would (and will) be many types of losses and adversity to come. 

Lexi with Nai Nai - Dec 2015

What I want to tell you is that you, my little/big lobster, have helped me to learn that love is bigger than death. That somehow love can expand in the depths of sorrow and in the chamber of exquisite sadness. That love can rebuild from the shattered pieces of a broken heart.  And that love (and life) can indeed be undiminished by adversity. 

Louie, we are going on a big family adventure this year.  This summer, we’re moving to Taiwan to experience life on the other side of the world – outside of our well-established family rhythm.  There’s excitement, there’s trepidation, there’s… hot weather, where we do NOT thrive.  But I’m not afraid to take a risk. I’m not afraid of a non-linear life. I’m not afraid to hope for memories that stretch our imagination. 

Oh how I wish you were here to go on our family adventure - to choose a place to visit - to laugh, to complain, to live. I hope you know how much you are missed.  And while I ache for you, I also hold gratitude that you’ve taught me just how big love can be.

Happy 10th birthday in the sky. Your sisters are planning to draw a birthday card, pick out flowers for your grave, and eat some cake in honor of you. We love you and miss you always. 

Mom