Wave of Light 2025

Dear friends and family,

It’s that time of year again. The Wave of Light has become a special tradition for our family to remember Louie and other little ones who are no longer with us. October 15 is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day, observed through the International Wave of Light. We invite you to light a candle (or send “light” thoughts or prayers) from 7–8 p.m. in your local time zone in honor of all the little ones who are gone too soon.

In the grief journey, life after loss is filled with many triggers - some expected and many unexpected. One of my first unexpected moments came while watching Tangled. Confession: I owned this movie before I had kids (yes, a semi #disneyadult 🙋🏻‍♀️). I remember putting it on one afternoon while I was still on leave, and there was a seemingly ordinary scene at the end when Rapunzel went in for a family hug. In that moment, I was utterly gutted - hit by the realization that I would never experience a family hug, a family photo, a whole family moment together.

It’s now been over a decade since Louie skipped this world and went straight to heaven. The big waves of grief come less often now, though they still rise up from time to time. Recently, I experienced an unexpected and deeply special “whole family” moment during our annual family photos. The day took place at the beach, and we spent the morning simply playing and having fun. 

Some of you might know our small ritual of writing Louie’s name in the sand and watching it wash away- a fleeting moment that somehow feels fitting for his short life. While the kids were being photographed, I moved to the side and wrote Louie’s name in the sand. Our photographer noticed and, in a quiet act of grace, captured it. It wasn’t a full family hug, but it felt whole - like a small way to honor him and bring him into the heart of our joy.

(📷 by Anita Barcsa)

For those of you who have loved ones nearby, I hope you share a full family hug because the ordinary can be so precious. And for those of us missing someone we love, I hold you in my heart and will light a candle in remembrance of the brightness of love. 💛

Home is wherever we are together

After an epic summer (London, Boston, Tahoe), we finally returned home about a month ago. Stepping back into San Francisco brought a different kind of exhale and a sense of “final” unpacking. The familiar hills, our church community, the kids slipping back into school rhythms - it’s been a seamless return, so much so that sometimes I can’t believe we were gone for a year.

Highlights

• Culture shock: Why is boba $8 now?! Truedan, I miss you. Why isn’t there reasonable public transportation in SF? I definitely didn’t miss driving

• School: Returning to PKS has been lovely. Lexi & Ellie have settled in quickly, while Tori is still easing into school after Taiwan.

• Community: It's been a joy to reunite with friends and family.

Scenes from Our Return

Our first act of getting settled was getting on our bikes and eating some tacos. The kids reunited with their old toys, and we officially moved Tori into the big kids’ room - no more crib! Friends and family welcomed us with open arms, and it’s been such a gift to have play dates again. And best of all, we didn’t break into a sweat every time we stepped outside. 

At school drop-off, Lexi and Ellie slipped right back into the rhythm with friends and familiar teachers. Tori is learning to make new friends, but it’s sweet to see older brothers and sisters looking out for her on campus. We’re back to the bustle of carpool life with neighbors who feel like family. 

What’s Next for Us?

I’m diving back into the job search and excited to return to work life - focusing on companies in healthcare, energy, and infrastructure, and dusting off my non-existent resume. Warren is volunteering with Rise Prep, a local Christian high school, and Youth ministry (along with getting back to tennis). We’re still tweaking things in the house - it’s funny to think we’d only lived here ten months before heading abroad. And the hardest goal of all: finding good Taiwanese food in San Francisco. Our favorite spot, China Bee, closed a few years ago, we’ve been searching for a worthy replacement ever since. 

What we’ve learned over the last year is that home isn’t a house, or location, or things—it’s wherever we are, together.

A Tale of Two Cities: Taipei and SF

Over the past year, I (Warren) have been struck by the many differences living in Taipei compared to San Francisco.  There are so many things I appreciate about Taiwan living, but there are also accompanied downsides.  As our time winds down, I narrowed it down to three better and three challenging aspects to life in Taipei --

What's Better About Life in Taipei:

Superior public restrooms.

This may seem like a minor issue, but with three young kids, it's a comfort to know that nearly anywhere you go, there will be a clean restroom for them.  Almost always there is toilet paper alongside a recently cleaned toilet.  Often there will be a dispenser with cleaner to use to wipe the surface of the toilet seat.  Child-size toilets are also fairly common.  In many public places there is also a handy display showing which stalls are currently occupied/vacant.  There's really no debate on this as I'm sure our kids will notice this immediately when we return.

Transportation.

Public transportation in Taipei is amazing. We loved not having a car to worry about and enjoyed the plentiful taxis, buses, and the subway.  We took high speed trains all over Taipei and marveled at the affordability and convenience.  It made the whole city feel so much more accessible.  In the US we can't seem to figure out how to balance our suburban sprawl, our geographic scale, with accessibility.

Elderly people’s lives.

There are old folks everywhere in Taipei!  Spend some time here and you will see them exercising in large numbers in the parks, riding the buses, chatting on their front porch with neighbors, and being wheeled around the city by family or helpers.  

Everyone gets freee government sponsored health care - when Melissa's parents were here - they took full advantage and discovered and remedied medical issues that may very well have extended their lives!  Not only that, it was key that they didn't need to drive to get anywhere to see specialists and therapists all over the city. I found it refreshing that the whole country honors and prioritizes seniors in so many little ways -- from having functional elevators in all public spaces, to free senior passes to use the MRT, to elderly-friendly exercise equipment spread all around the city (e.g., picture). And don't forget the enduring cultural backdrop of filial piety where kids still take responsibility for direct care of their elderly parents. In the US, the older generation feel like afterthoughts.  The US doesn't demonstrate much care much about those who can no longer contribute to society in the same way as before.  It feels so much more dignified here.

What's Worse About Life in Taipei:

Weather and natural disasters.

Brutal weather.  Just BRUTAL.  Summer months get up to 95 degrees with punishing humidity.  You walk outside and last about 3 minutes before you're hunting for the closest A/C.   

Our family adapted well enough, but our first months being July, August, September, were not an easy introduction.  Once you get through the summer heat, you still have 70%-90% humidity all year long (which Melissa can tell you about how that impacts family hair-care). It rains roughly half of the year and it often comes with no warning or on days with a published 0% chance of precipitation. Typhoons visited Taiwan three times in our year here.  You need to carry an umbrella every day of the year to fend off either the intense sunlight or torrential rain (and sometimes both in the same day). I look forward to returning to 68 degrees and sunny every day in SF.

Mosquitos and bugs.

Our kids' legs, arms, and faces were ravaged by the relentless insects all year round (our kids' legs looked worse than this).  The humidity comes with so many midges and mosquitos which were always waiting for you in the morning or early evening especially after rainfall.  It's nearly the same as it was when I was a kid in Taiwan 40+ years ago -- I was hoping things had changed!  We enforce a daily application of sunblock and bug spray which is burdensome and time consuming (and often didn't work).  It finally made sense why many people don't wear shorts in Taipei even in 90+ degree weather.  When people are waiting at busy crosswalks, it is seems like the whole group of 50 people need to go to the bathroom because they keep moving their legs to avoid bug bites.

Young people’s lives.

In Taiwan, I had the privilege of sending the older girls to a bilingual school in Beitou and also working with some students and families in middle/high school as they prepare to go to university abroad (through ed consulting work).  My conclusion is that the life of a young(er) person in Taiwan is really tough - and probably tougher than in the US.   

Schooling feels burdensome and hours are super long in a context where traditional pedagogy and approach to learning (more time on task) dominate.  Kids are often spotted doing work by themselves at a 7-11 still in their school uniform at 9p.  Hours and hours of homework starts VERY early (Ellie had over an hour/day in 1st grade). Despite nearly universal college attainment, the pressure to succeed is still very high, the wages are quite low - compared to the US - and the prospects to attend college abroad is fiercely competitive.  Young people don't have much space to play, pursue extra-curricular interests, or simply have down time.  Add on top of that, mandatory military service for the young men and the cultural expectation that mothers should not be working too much outside of the home, while still taking care of elderly parents, and it is no wonder that young people are delaying marriage and/or deciding not to have kids.  Taipei has very high rents (comparable to a major city in US) adding significant economic pressure. I come away from Taiwan with much sympathy for the average young person studying and trying to navigate the many pressures and expectations put upon them.


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Overall, I have been so grateful for our year abroad.  We have been so lucky to have this experience and to bring our girls along for the ride.  Nobody revolted and demanded we go home (even with the bugs and heat) and we have so many memories that will last a lifetime.  We have made new precious friendships.  We were able to host so many of our family and closest friends in Taipei this year.  Despite all of its challenges, Taiwan is such a special place and I couldn't recommend it more to anyone who is considering visiting or bringing their families here for a short or long stay.  We can't wait to come back again soon!

Taipei Kind of Rhythm

As our family adventure year begins to wind down, I’ve been thinking a lot about what Taipei has come to mean to me. What started as a big leap - packing up our life for a year abroad – has grown into something steady and familiar. The rhythm of life here feels easy now, like we’ve truly settled in. It’s the small, consistent things - buying fresh fish every Tuesday from the same vendor, the local restaurant staff that bring pink plates for Tori, the kids casually using Taiwanese slang like “媠啦” (“sui la”)- that have made this place feel like home. It’s those everyday moments that I know we’ll miss most.

I want to share a few glimpses of our rhythm here.

Little Moments That Shaped Us

• Local Market Mornings – Several times a week, we head to the traditional market for veggies, dumplings, fruit, and fish. The stalls shift with the seasons, and my Mandarin has slowly improved - mostly by the vendors correcting me!

  
  

• School Life – There’s definitely more homework here than back home, but the routines are steady, and the big girls are thriving in a bilingual environment. Lexi’s proudly stepped into the role of family translator—reading menus, street signs, and even correcting our tones. Ellie's been deepening her love of art and sometimes recites Chinese poetry to herself during bath time. Meanwhile, Tori has gone from diapers and barely speaking to fully potty-trained and chatting in two languages. It’s been amazing (and a little humbling) to watch how quickly they’ve all adapted.

  

• Roots Church – It’s become a steady anchor in our week. The kids look forward to it so much that they are sad to miss a Sunday - even for something like a family trip.

  

• No-Car Life – Without a car, we rely on public transit and our small scooter to get everywhere. It's shaped our Taipei life to be decided local, just as a practical consideration. It was overwhelming at first to walk on the side of the streets with cars and motorcycles zipping by, but now the kids know the way to school and church.

  
  

Upcoming family adventure year trips: 

✅ Warren: Bali & Komodo Island Indonesia for the Komodo dragons (Jan 2025)

✅ Mel: Kyoto, Japan for the cherry blossoms (Mar 2025) (Moving Kyoto to Feb 2025 with Michael & Richelle and will search for cherry blossoms in Taiwan)

✅ Lexi: Chengdu, China for the giant pandas (Oct 2024). She also voted for Komodo dragons. 

✅ Ellie: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam for the underground tunnels.  She also voted for Komodo dragons. (Jan 2025)

❑ Tori: Hong Kong for Disneyland (May 2025). She also voted for the mall. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This weekend, we’re off on our final trip of the year for Tori’s pick: Hong Kong Disneyland (because that’s the closest we could get to a Disney cruise). Then it’s back to Taipei for one last month of DIY crafts, mango shave ice, affordable sushi, and MRT rides.

After that, we’re taking the scenic route home—London with Warren’s family (Wimbledon, here we come!) and our annual Boston trip before we finally unpack back in San Francisco.  Looking forward to savoring every last bit of time before heading home.

生日快樂親愛的業昇

生日快樂親愛的業昇 

Happy birthday, my dear Louie -

It’s your 11th heavenly birthday.  I’m writing to you from Taiwan this year and enjoying getting to use your Chinese name. I’ve always loved the meaning of 昇sheng, which means to rise or ascend. I cherish how it connects to your sisters' names (霞xia - dawn, 虹hong - rainbow, 崚ling -heavenly high) as they all point towards the skies.

One of the biggest privileges of our family adventure year is having time - life has slowed down for us. I’m attending a Bible study with 婆婆 grandma this year on the book of Revelation. Every week we study about the apocalypse. And your dad and I recently started watching The Good Place together, which is about the afterlife. So it’s a lot of reflecting about the end. While regularly reflecting on the end of the world and/or death could definitely be a “downer activity”, it’s not something that I avoid. While I’m certainly afraid of pain and afraid to leave our family on this earth, I’m not afraid for me in part because I get to see you again. 

There’s a song we sing at church that paints a picture of the end times (well the redemption part, not the wrath part). It took awhile to find as we sing it in English, but it's originally a song in Chinese. I wanted to share it with you.   

Verse:  諸天述說天父的榮耀 穹蒼傳揚奇妙的作為 張開雙手 萬物得飽足 萬口承認祢是我們的神 Chorus:  我們的神 坐在寶座上 聖殿充滿榮耀 萬民敬拜 全能的神 我們尊崇祢 聖潔榮耀 尊貴 能力 都歸於祢

Verse:  They heavens declare Your glory The skies proclaim, the work of Your hands With open hands, You satisfy us All will confess, You're the almighty God Chorus:  You are our God, seated on the throne Robed in glory, and power. We worship You Almighty God, We exalt Your name All the honor, and power, and praise belongs to You

We’re having a family adventure year that has been all that I hoped it to be - visiting new countries, meeting new friends, petting new animals, trying new foods, and making new memories.  It’s been such a wonderful year and yet… 

I wanted to let you know that I am even more looking forward to the day of our ultimate family reunion - a time where you are not bound by a little body with lungs that could not breathe and I was not bound to be on earth without you. There will be a beautiful family experience that is yet to come.

Until then, I miss you and love you. Happy birthday, my forever baby. 

Love, 

Mom

36 hours in Kyoto

Over the last decade, several people have told me that I’d love Kyoto, so was excited to finally go. My brother’s family joined for my adventure year trip and it did not disappoint. Even though we were there for 36 short hours, we had some magical moments.

Highlights: 

• Arashiyama Bamboo Forest

• Samurai & Ninja Museum 

• Fushimi Inari Shrine

Arashiyama Bamboo Forest

Walking into the forest felt like stepping into a movie, where nature was its own character. The rustling of bamboo in the wind was the perfect soundtrack for our stroll. The kids did not enjoy the “boring” walk, but we powered through nonetheless. When the snow started to fall against the sunny sky, it felt magical. 

Samurai & Ninja Museum

The kids enjoyed their hands on experience in the Samurai Ninja Museum. They were able to throw some ninja stars and blow darts. I enjoyed learning more about the history and culture.

Fushimi Inari Taisha: The Thousand Torii Gates

Early the next morning, we visited the vermillion torii gates before the crowds started. The kids enjoyed writing their wishes on the fox-shaped tablets that you can hang in the shrine.

Kyoto has this beautiful blend of ancient and modern, more than any other city that I’ve visited.  I would go back in a heartbeat although it would likely be better without young kids.

We've done a lot of travel in the last 2 months, so looking forward to staying in Taiwan for a bit. Our final trip is slated for either Hong Kong or Shanghai. Happy to hear recommendations on which Disneyland is better!

Upcoming family adventure year trips: 

✅ Warren: Bali & Komodo Island Indonesia for the Komodo dragons (Jan 2025)

✅ Mel: Kyoto, Japan for the cherry blossoms (Mar 2025) (Moving Kyoto to Feb 2025 with Michael & Richelle and will search for cherry blossoms in Taiwan)

✅ Lexi: Chengdu, China for the giant pandas (Oct 2024). She also voted for Komodo dragons. 

✅ Ellie: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam for the underground tunnels.  She also voted for Komodo dragons. (Jan 2025)

❑ Tori: Hong Kong for Disneyland (May 2025). She also voted for the mall. 🤷🏻‍♀️

*****

Family Travel Tips for Kyoto Arishimaya Bamboo Forest and Fushimi Inari Shrine:

• Itinerary: Everything is train accessible. We went early in the morning (before 8AM for the shrine and before 9AM for the bamboo forest) to avoid the crowds.
• Carrier/Stroller: Carrier is a must for the Fushimi Inari Shrine as it has many stairs. Stroller was fine for the bamboo forest. 
• Clothing: Nothing to note, but we went during winter, so it was quite cold (high 20s/low 30s). If I were to do it again in the winter, I’d bring hand/foot warmers.   
• Shoes: Comfortable walking shoes are a must—expect a lot of stairs and uneven paths.

Lunar New Year - Part 2

Part 2 of our lunar new year trip took us to Ho Chi Minh City.  It was a unique opportunity to see Indonesia, Vietnam, and Taiwan during this holiday season.  We saw beautiful decorations everywhere and many spontaneous lion dances.  

Some Ho Chi Minh highlights: 

• Visiting and learning about the Cu Chi Tunnels
• Cooking class with Hoa's kitchen

The history of the tunnels was quite sobering. While it's quite commercialized now (lots of tour groups), it's still eery to be in the place where the war took place.  Our tour guide shared the ongoing impacts for multiple decades after the fighting stopped. Lexi was impacted by the stories of the war and nervous about the visit.  Ellie was engaged in the engineering behind the tunnels and the booby traps. We might have a STEM-kid in training.  

Our second highlight was a cooking class with a local guide.  We made pho-ga (chicken pho), spring rolls, and a coconut crepe - forgot .  It was a lovely way to enjoy the culture and of course enjoy a delicious meal. 

Our trip to Ho Chi Minh City was quick, but informative AND delicious. 

Upcoming family adventure year trips: 

✅ Warren: Bali & Komodo Island Indonesia for the Komodo dragons (Jan 2025)

❑ Mel: Kyoto, Japan for the cherry blossoms (Mar 2025) (Moving Kyoto to Feb 2025 with Michael & Richelle and will search for cherry blossoms in Taiwan)

✅ Lexi: Chengdu, China for the giant pandas (Oct 2024). She also voted for Komodo dragons. 

✅ Ellie: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam for the underground tunnels.  She also voted for Komodo dragons. (Jan 2025)

❑ Tori: Hong Kong for Disneyland (May 2025). She also voted for the mall. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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I'll be adding some practical travel tips for anyone traveling with younger kids. 

Practical travel tips for Cu Chi Tunnels (Kids ages: 3, 7, 9).

• Itinerary: Speedboat (1.5 hours) + Tunnels (1 hour) + Lunch (1 hour) + Return boat trip (1.5 hours).  
• Carrier:  We brought this, but no need. The tunnel tour is very little walking, so the kids were fine. 
• Clothing:  I'd recommend long pants since it gets pretty dusty while climbing the tunnels. If you take a boat in the morning, a long sleeve/jacket is a must. Even though the weather was around ~90°F in the afternoon, we were all cold in the morning due to wind of the 1+ hour speedboat ride. 
• Shoes: Kids wore their sports sandals which was fine.