Wave of Light 2025

Dear friends and family,

It’s that time of year again. The Wave of Light has become a special tradition for our family to remember Louie and other little ones who are no longer with us. October 15 is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day, observed through the International Wave of Light. We invite you to light a candle (or send “light” thoughts or prayers) from 7–8 p.m. in your local time zone in honor of all the little ones who are gone too soon.

In the grief journey, life after loss is filled with many triggers - some expected and many unexpected. One of my first unexpected moments came while watching Tangled. Confession: I owned this movie before I had kids (yes, a semi #disneyadult 🙋🏻‍♀️). I remember putting it on one afternoon while I was still on leave, and there was a seemingly ordinary scene at the end when Rapunzel went in for a family hug. In that moment, I was utterly gutted - hit by the realization that I would never experience a family hug, a family photo, a whole family moment together.

It’s now been over a decade since Louie skipped this world and went straight to heaven. The big waves of grief come less often now, though they still rise up from time to time. Recently, I experienced an unexpected and deeply special “whole family” moment during our annual family photos. The day took place at the beach, and we spent the morning simply playing and having fun. 

Some of you might know our small ritual of writing Louie’s name in the sand and watching it wash away- a fleeting moment that somehow feels fitting for his short life. While the kids were being photographed, I moved to the side and wrote Louie’s name in the sand. Our photographer noticed and, in a quiet act of grace, captured it. It wasn’t a full family hug, but it felt whole - like a small way to honor him and bring him into the heart of our joy.

(📷 by Anita Barcsa)

For those of you who have loved ones nearby, I hope you share a full family hug because the ordinary can be so precious. And for those of us missing someone we love, I hold you in my heart and will light a candle in remembrance of the brightness of love. 💛

Home is wherever we are together

After an epic summer (London, Boston, Tahoe), we finally returned home about a month ago. Stepping back into San Francisco brought a different kind of exhale and a sense of “final” unpacking. The familiar hills, our church community, the kids slipping back into school rhythms - it’s been a seamless return, so much so that sometimes I can’t believe we were gone for a year.

Highlights

• Culture shock: Why is boba $8 now?! Truedan, I miss you. Why isn’t there reasonable public transportation in SF? I definitely didn’t miss driving

• School: Returning to PKS has been lovely. Lexi & Ellie have settled in quickly, while Tori is still easing into school after Taiwan.

• Community: It's been a joy to reunite with friends and family.

Scenes from Our Return

Our first act of getting settled was getting on our bikes and eating some tacos. The kids reunited with their old toys, and we officially moved Tori into the big kids’ room - no more crib! Friends and family welcomed us with open arms, and it’s been such a gift to have play dates again. And best of all, we didn’t break into a sweat every time we stepped outside. 

At school drop-off, Lexi and Ellie slipped right back into the rhythm with friends and familiar teachers. Tori is learning to make new friends, but it’s sweet to see older brothers and sisters looking out for her on campus. We’re back to the bustle of carpool life with neighbors who feel like family. 

What’s Next for Us?

I’m diving back into the job search and excited to return to work life - focusing on companies in healthcare, energy, and infrastructure, and dusting off my non-existent resume. Warren is volunteering with Rise Prep, a local Christian high school, and Youth ministry (along with getting back to tennis). We’re still tweaking things in the house - it’s funny to think we’d only lived here ten months before heading abroad. And the hardest goal of all: finding good Taiwanese food in San Francisco. Our favorite spot, China Bee, closed a few years ago, we’ve been searching for a worthy replacement ever since. 

What we’ve learned over the last year is that home isn’t a house, or location, or things—it’s wherever we are, together.